Saturday, January 1, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Poppa and Finley Ure (his birthday)
Reasonably priced at $10 each depending on detail.
Blog me for her details or email:
elise@fluidmedia.co.nz
Elise Ure won the inaugural Emerging Young Artist of the year in West Auckland in 2008 at Lopdell House.
Hindrances to Problem Solving
When I first began counselling couples in 1999, it did not take me long to notice that something was missing in couples attempts at problem solving. When I did some research into the success rates in counselling couples I was concerned that there was a 60% plus failure rate reported. As a research chemist in my earlier life I was used to 2.5% to 5% failure as an acceptable level. 60% would mean counselling couples was a waste of time and money. Further reading revealed a concept called "co-morbidity." This where there is more than one major issue present in a person's life preventing them from fixing any of their problems. This requires an approach to problem solving starting with the problems that are physiological before moving on to the psychological problems. At this point I adopted a more scientific approach to my relationship counselling work and I began to read up on neuroscience text books to see how our brains worked.
Co-Morbidity in relationships works this way: Where their is either alcohol/drug problems or depression present with one or both, then the ability of the couple to resolve relationship issues is virtually impossible. After 13,000 hours of couple work I can support this statement fully. I also think that this could be one of the major reasons for the high failure rate reported with couple counselling. Before the relationship issues are worked on the drug/alcohol or depression problems must be address or resolved first. This changed my approach to working with couples and I adopted what I called a scientific approach.
What has all this got to do with society?
I now think that there is a correlation between co-morbidity in couples problem solving and problem solving in society. I have not seen any research, however it is now a theory of mine. Our ability to fully resolve the many behavioural issues such as crime/family abuse/theft/vandalism/bullying/corporate financial collapse/lack of respect/lack of self discipline/crime towards authorities such as police attacks/a general me first attitude/welfare-ism/It's not my fault syndrome.....is all virtually impossible to do whilst drug/alcohol problems and societal depression (such as happens when the All-Blacks lose) exist at such high binge levels.
I want to explore this. Especially as I see others commenting on these issues from a more political approach, which I think may go nowhere. I do not think the New Zealand Government can resolve societies issues....I have to. Let me know what you think please......more to follow.
Co-Morbidity in relationships works this way: Where their is either alcohol/drug problems or depression present with one or both, then the ability of the couple to resolve relationship issues is virtually impossible. After 13,000 hours of couple work I can support this statement fully. I also think that this could be one of the major reasons for the high failure rate reported with couple counselling. Before the relationship issues are worked on the drug/alcohol or depression problems must be address or resolved first. This changed my approach to working with couples and I adopted what I called a scientific approach.
What has all this got to do with society?
I now think that there is a correlation between co-morbidity in couples problem solving and problem solving in society. I have not seen any research, however it is now a theory of mine. Our ability to fully resolve the many behavioural issues such as crime/family abuse/theft/vandalism/bullying/corporate financial collapse/lack of respect/lack of self discipline/crime towards authorities such as police attacks/a general me first attitude/welfare-ism/It's not my fault syndrome.....is all virtually impossible to do whilst drug/alcohol problems and societal depression (such as happens when the All-Blacks lose) exist at such high binge levels.
I want to explore this. Especially as I see others commenting on these issues from a more political approach, which I think may go nowhere. I do not think the New Zealand Government can resolve societies issues....I have to. Let me know what you think please......more to follow.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Trends in Family Life
I decided that I would write this blog to discuss the downward trend in the quality of family life in New Zealand, and to talk about ways to reverse this trend. The future for my grown up children and my grandchildren will be totally different from the privileged place I find myself in at 62 years of age. New Zealand has been good to my generation, however I sense that what is about to come will not be as good. I want to discuss what I observe and gain your response. I will share ideas that have been in my head for many years as a father, an employer and as a relationship counsellor with over 13,000 hours of clinical experience. I will share some tools that I have used over the years with clients to help them repair their relationships because I think some of these tools would help society in general. With 2011 around the corner we need a new direction that remedies some of New Zealand's chronic symptoms - excess alcohol and drug use; child abuse; marriage breakdown; the tall poppy syndrome; the welfare system and mindset; education mood swings; lack of empathy; the importance of our children's first 5 years of life and why all my friends have gone to live in Australia.
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